My best friends and I have been friends since we were 11 years old! That's almost 15 years ago. From then 'til now, we've definitely gone through some things, let me tell you, LOL. But we've also been able to get over most of those things and kept our friendShip sailing. See what I did there?
Here are a couple ways we maintained our friendship over the years!
1. Make Time ( & Be Mature About It)
Cliche, but true. To be very honest carving the time out of your never-ending days to facilitate some quality time with your friends is very difficult sometimes. But guess what, it's worth it almost every time. (Almost every time because some days they may annoy you, so i'm taking everything into account here, LOL).
If you can't make it to a friend meet-up or so, MESSAGE THE GROUP! I'm talking from experience here. Don't tell one or two persons in your squad. Tell the whole gang because you don't want anyone to feel left out or like everyone else in the group knows something and they don't. They'll feel slighted. Definitely be mature and give everyone a heads up.
I know some of us can't be there every single time, but try to at least meet up for your friends' birthdays. Not even the actual day itself, the weekend before/after should be just fine. My friends and I try for birthdays and to meet up once a month. That's literally only twelve times for the year so if you can count it, you should definitely try to make it.
2. Consider Change
Not saying that you should change your friends here. Just saying that you should consider that your friends' personalities, hell, even their bodies will change over time. Your friends are most likely to go off into the world and do their own little things. Different career paths, different schools, different everything. So it is only obvious that they will experience different things, meet new people, make new friends and be influenced by whatever experiences they've had. Change is inevitable.
My friends and I understand that we literally can't remain 11 years old forever. I am not the same person from last year, let alone when I was 11 years old. And my homies can definitely vouch for me. Or maybe they won't cuz yuh see dem, dem ain't easy nah.
You just have to be mindful that your old friend from 15 years ago is probably not the same friend, today. That in no way means that it will be awkward when you meet, it just means that the vibe that they bring to your friendship may be a bit different from back then to now. Their vibe would have possibly evolved so you probably would have to get to know them again. And this may happen over and over again as you grow older.
3. Support Them, Regardless
Keeping in line with the previous tip, when your friends change, the things they want to do in life may also take you by surprise occasionally. They may want to be the next daredevil and do unfathomable things - within the law, LOL - that you probably never see yourself doing. That's when they need you the most. You can give constructive criticism of course, but if they're bent on doing it, you need to support no matter what!
Emotional support is also necessary and of paramount importance. Check up on your friends' mental health some time and let them know you're there!
How do you maintain your friendships?
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Paula J.
Great advise as usual. How do I distance myself from friends I no longer have anything in common with?
ReplyDeleteThat's a big one! It's definitely tricky but you would have to weigh your options here. Considering that you never know who you may need in the future I wouldn't recommend going absolutely AWOL on someone. But then again you know yourself and you know your friendship with the person. So if you decide to consciously drift away and it's right for you then do it! Relationships go through ebbs and flows so commonalities may change a lot throughout its course. I think that's just how it goes sometimes. But if you really really want to distance yourself from friends you could reduce your communication with them gradually and I think they'd get the idea eventually.
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